My first 2012 list of things that must go...

1. People who think the world is going to end this year. Believe me, people, I would be the first person to be THRILLED if this were true, but the truth is, the Mayans just ran out of flat stones to chisel their cute little calendars into, so they stopped at the end of 2012. Lucky for us, there are still plenty of calendar makers creating tons of 2013 calendars with delicious, mostly nude men on them for us to enjoy all year long.

2. Liquor stores in Utah closing early on the eve of major holidays. I already have enough reasons to hate Utah, and they've just added one more. The liquor stores all closed at 7:00 PM on New Year's Eve. 7:00!!! I haven't gone to the liquor store that early since before I was legal! Seriously, who goes out for liquor that early?!? Just sell wine and (real) beer in the grocery stores, Utah, and stop closing the liquor stores at 7:00 on ANY NIGHT and I promise, I will leave you alone.

3. My shoulder aching all day. 'Nuff said.

4. People who don't read terms and conditions and then bitch when they don't get their way. "I didn't understand the difference between nights and stays and therefore didn't stay enough to get upgraded to Gold status, and now I think it's [hotel company's] fault and I want you to upgrade me now! I don't have time to read terms and conditions, even though they are only a couple of paragraphs long! What do you think I am, some kind of lawyer?!?"

5. Rick Santorum, but not before he makes a complete ass out of himself in the GOP primary race. Oh wait, too late... For that matter, all of the GOP candidates except for Jon Huntsman (because he's the only sane one) and Ron Paul (because he's just so old, adorable, and weird, and because he spends Saturday nights reading economic textbooks).

6. Mitt Romney. Yes, I know I already said all the GOP Presidential candidates, but I truly feel that Mitt Romney deserves his own special mention, just like he deserves his own special layer of HELL! I have never known a more miserably rich, out-of-touch, socially conservative bozo of a politician. God forbid he becomes President... I hate to say it, but Obama may be our best and only hope...

7. Pens that look like they should be colorful glitter pens but aren't. That's just annoying. I still want colorful glitter pens.