It's been a couple of months since I have written anything, so I think it is long past time for catching up on my life in February in March. Overall February was fairly uneventful. I worked my typical 40 hour work weeks without a day off. I had a slightly miserable Valentine's Day (first single one in seven years) mitigated somewhat by making dinner for and spending the night with a good friend. :-) My overall mood was mostly blah with a touch of depressed. I spent quite a bit of time with friends and family in the evenings and on the weekends, which helped keep me relatively happy.
March has been an incredibly better month for me. As usual, this is the time of year I start to come out of my depressed funk associated with wacky Utah winters, shitty inversions and lack of daylight. While the weather has been far from perfect, it has been good enough that I have been able to ride my bike to work all but about three or four days since Daylight Savings Time began. I have also been exercising more on the weekends, eating better, and just overall feeling so much healthier than I have literally in years.
I decided at some point toward the end of February that it was absolutely necessary for me to have a big bash of a 25th birthday party. After all, one only turns a quarter of a century old once, right? So I asked my wonderfully accommodating roommate, Bryan, who agreed to let me use the house that evening for a rather large gathering. I invited about 80 people on Facebook and a few who don't do the whole FB drama thing (and I don't blame them one bit, lol), about 30-40 of whom showed up at some point during the night. Being St. Patrick's Day and my birthday, of course I was compelled to drink much more than I would any other night of the year. So when many of my late-partyer friends showed up past 10 or 11 o'clock I was already smashed and having a very good time. I don't remember much of what happened or what was said, but in situations like that, you can always count on your friends to embarass you about it later. Apparently I drunk dialed someone who did not show up to the party and left a rather incriminating voicemail. I will never live it down, and that is probably for the best. How else can I learn? I also apparently was gone enough that when everyone else went outside for a cigarette, I joined them (even though I don't smoke). And despite feeling far to cold to be out on my front porch in a T-shirt, I INSISTED on finishing the cigarette, because you don't just WASTE a perfectly bad cigarette, for crying out loud! The next morning the house was actually clean. I apparently stayed up after everyone left around 2 to clean the kitchen. What shocked me was the amount of liquor and food that was leftover. At least a dozen beers, two bottles of wine, four FULL, BIG veggie trays, a box of cookies, a box of donuts, two bags of chips and dip. Yeah, it was an epic night that I will always remember. Can't wait for 30; that is going to have to be a big party as well. :-)
A couple of good friends and I are planning on going to Seattle and Vancouver, BC this summer. I am SO excited because I have never taken my new car on a road trip before, and it is going to be AMAZING. Plus I have not been to Seattle since I was a small child and do not remember really anything about it. And I have never even set foot in Canada, so I am very excited to add it to my list of countries I have visited. And from what people tell me, Vancouver is an amazingly beautiful and fun city. We are also going to be in Seattle (intentionally) during their annual Pride festival and parade. I have never been in a city other than Salt Lake for Pride, so I am very eager to see how Seattle Pride compares. We will be staying at least one night right downtown in Seattle at what I have been told is their very best Marriott property. I am hoping to meet the general manager and talk about what working at the property level is like, as my experience has all been in corporate phone-based customer service. After Seattle Pride is over we are planning on driving up to Vancouver and spending a couple of nights there with some friends of one of my friends who is coming with us. It has been about ten years since I have had a valid Passport, so I recently applied for and received one and I am very excited to use it for the first time. :-)
In order to be able to afford what is bound to be $5.00/gallon gas for this trip, I have already worked one week of overtime (62 hours total) and plan to do so again for the next three weeks, as they are currently offering an added incentive: in addition to the time-and-a-half pay, we earn a $25 Amex gift card for every five hours of overtime worked. So far I figure I have racked up about $125 worth in gift cards and plan on getting my hands on as many more as I am capable of. Until the overtime starts to make me physically ill, I plan to continue working it as long as it is offered. Since I am already at work from 10:30 - 7:00 every weekday anyway, adding 4 hours on in the morning doesn't really affect my schedule much, except that I end up being a bit sleep deprived, which is okay. The tradeoff is well worth it in my opinion. We'll see how long I last.
One final thing I would like to write about before I have to go back to work from my VERY extended lunch is the Holi Festival of Colors I went to this past Sunday. It was SO cool. It was held down in Spanish Fork at the Lotus Krishna Temple in Spanish Fork. Basically you go, pay $2 to get in, buy some bagged powdered colors made from corn starch and throw color at random strangers, get completely grimy and take lots of pictures. :-) At no other event I have been to is it completely socially acceptable to soil a complete stranger's clothing with colored powder. :-) It was SO much fun. There are also times when everyone throws color up in the air at once, which, if you are above the action as I was, makes for an AMAZING photo opportunity. See my Facebook for photos of the event. I can't wait to go again next year.
That's all for now. Gotta get back to work.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Defining the Modern Gay Rights Movement
I have been inspired this year to try to concisely express exactly what this movement has evolved into over the past several decades and what it means for LGBT people living in a 2012 world. This calls for a few different areas of discussion: a definition of the goals of the modern gay rights movement, an exploration of recent successes and failures of the movement, an overview of key individuals vis-a-vis the movement, and an examination of other miscellaneous important moments in the movement during approximately the past ten years.
Goals
In this section I will attempt to define what I consider to be the primary goals of the modern gay rights movement. I will also attempt to list them hierarchically in order of importance.
The number one goal of the worldwide gay rights movement, as I see it, is to end violence against LGBT individuals on the basis of sexual orientation and/or gender identity. This violence is defined as bodily harm inflicted intentionally against anyone whose sexual orientation or gender identity is other than what is perceived to be normative for his/her culture and society. This violence may or may not result in the intentional or unintentional death of the victim. Violence may also include the wrongful imprisonment or detention of individuals because they identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. Until all individuals in this world are safe being who they were born to be, all other goals in this movement MUST be secondary.
I think a reasonable second goal of this movement is to end bullying against LGBT youth and reform education to cultivate acceptance and understanding of LGBT individuals and issues. It is a cliche, but youth really are our future. As a society we should be asking ourselves what kind of example we want to be setting for our children. Do we want to be the kind of society that continues to turn a blind eye to the maltreatment and suffering of an oppressed minority group, particularly when minors are some of the most significantly affected? Or do we want to be the kind of society that stands up to and denounces bullying against youth minorities? The practices we put into place in our educational institutions color the perceptions of individuals throughout their lifetimes. It is time public education in this country includes comprehensive education about sexual orientation and gender identity, as well as LGBT history. There also must be support infrastructure in place for LGBT youth who are bullied and discriminated against.
Along these same lines, a close third goal should be to address the growing epidemic of homelessness among LGBT youth. Teenagers who come out to their families are still routinely kicked out of their homes. They live on the street, become drifters, end up in homeless shelters or foster care, suffer from malnutrition, disease, and lack of proper hygiene and medical care. They are much more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol than other youth their same age. Their mortality rate is higher. It is an unacceptable reality that we must come up with solutions to immediately. The types of facilities and programs we need are, for example, gay-friendly youth shelters or gay-friendly family placement programs for displaced LGBT youth.
An important fourth goal of this movement should be to end discrimination in employment and housing against LGBT individuals. Many jurisdictions are already adopting or pursuing these policies, but they still have a long way to go. Losing one's job or home simply on the basis of one's sexual orientation or gender identity is an unacceptable reality. Business policies against such discrimination are an important part of any reputable company's protocol, however, they are, in and of themselves, insufficient. As a minority group, LGBT individuals should be legally protected against such discrimination.
Goal number five, in my mind, addresses financial inequities between opposite-sex and same-sex couples. Therefore, our fifth goal should be to equalize government recognition of opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. In short, either same-sex marriage should be legalized or marriage itself as a government-recognized institution should be abandoned for all couples and replaced with civil unions (or something similar). This would solve issues ranging from access to insurance and Social Security benefits for committed same-sex couples to recognition of the right of a surviving same-sex spouse to inherit her/his deceased partner's estate.
On a personal note, equal recognition of same-sex relationships is important to me on a much more personal level, as it acknowledges the validity and importance of those relationships in our lives. Such recognition affirms the dignity and equality of same-sex couples who enter into these relationships, which to me is just as important as the material benefits equal recognition would bring.
Along the lines of goal number five, a reasonable sixth goal should be to ensure same-sex couples have equal access to the institutions of adoption and foster care, and to ensure they have full legal discretion in making medical and life/death decisions for an ill partner who cannot make his/her own decisions. While these rights are typically included under the umbrella of "marriage," I felt compelled to list them separate from the financial benefits listed above.
As a more political goal, number seven would be to use the political influence of the United States government and other institutions, such as the United Nations, to sanction or otherwise put diplomatic pressure on nations that still criminalize homosexuality and same-sex unions, particularly those that practice or condone violence against or imprisonment of LGBT individuals. Again, this is a process that, thanks to the Obama administration, is well underway, but has a long way to go. Violence against LGBT individuals would also include imposing the death penalty for homosexual acts or expressions of LGBT identity. This goal should also include pressuring nations that attempt to stifle freedom of expression when it comes to LGBT issues.
An eighth and final goal, stated broadly, might be to cultivate the development of a society and culture that is both educated about and sensitive to the diverse nature of human sexuality and gender expression. Too long has our society tried to understand sexuality and gender identity in terms of ultimately self-defeating binaries. These socially constructed norms fall far short of explaining the diverse gamut of human sexuality, and we are far overdue for a huge leap forward in our understanding of these issues. Such a societal evolution in thought would benefit everyone considered.
Recent Successes and Failures
When I think of the first watershed success of the Gay Rights Movement in the last decade, my mind goes straight to the November 18, 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Court decision in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, which found that the state [of Massachusetts] may not "deny the protections, benefits and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry." The next year, on May 17, same-sex couples began marrying in the state.
Now I know I put marriage equality rather low on the priority list of the goals of this movement, and I stand by that decision. But let's face it: the gay issue that routinely gets the lion's share of media coverage and hype is same-sex marriage. It is a sad reality, but the truth is that this issue, more than any other, is the most divisive, political, and those in our community who have money and influence seem to care about it more than other arguably more important issues. Therefore, the first state to rule in a judicial decision that gay couples should be allowed to wed was huge news. And it started what I argue is an unprecedented, almost continuous media coverage of an issue that had largely been ignored at worst and hit-or-miss at best prior to this watershed moment.
Going chronologically backwards slightly, on June 26, 2003, in Lawrence v. Texas, the United States Supreme Court ruled that laws against sodomy in the United States are unconstitutional. This decision struck down sodomy laws that were still on the books in 14 different states (including Utah). This was really the first decision by the land's highest court affirming the right of same-sex adults to consent to sexual activity in private. It also set a new legal precedent for affirming other rights of LGBT individuals, which other courts would draw on for years to come (and continue to do so).
As of today, 19 states have amended their constitutions to explicitly ban any type of legally-recognized unions between same-sex couples. A further 10 states have amended their constitutions to ban same-sex marriage specifically. 11 other states have statutes banning same-sex marriage. Many of these changes have occurred within the past 10 years. States that used to ban same-sex unions only by statute have enshrined that discrimination within their land's highest law, the state constitution, where it can only be overturned by a further constitutional amendment, a United States Supreme Court decision, or a highly improbable United States constitutional amendment.
Conversely, six states and the District of Columbia recognize and perform same-sex marriage in full equality to opposite-sex marriage. A further nine states recognize and perform unions (such as civil unions or domestic partnerships) similar to marriage in the rights they confer. Another four states grant limited rights to same-sex couples. Virtually all of these changes granting rights to same-sex couples have occurred since the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Court decision in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, with a few exceptions in the New England area.
Of course, there is one case of a state banning same-sex marriage in particular that deserves special attention. On November 4, 2008, in a very close contest, California voters approved Proposition 8 by a margin of 52% to 47%, which explicitly limits marriage to opposite-sex couples in the state's constitution. No other publicly-decided same-sex marriage issue has ever received more media attention, criticism, and hype. This is in part due to allegations that the Yes on 8 campaign was funded largely by secret and perhaps illegitimate donations from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
On October 28, 2009, President Barack Obama signed into law the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, passed by Congress on October 22. The act expanded the 1969 United States federal hate-crime law to include crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability.
U.S. District Court Judge Joseph Tauro ruled on July 8, 2010, that Defense of Marriage Act violates the equal protection of the laws guaranteed by the Due Process Clause of the Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The decision has since been stayed pending appeal.
Despite the gobs of money the LDS Church and other entities threw at Prop 8, opponents of the proposition challenged the initiative in federal court, where it was ruled on August 4, 2010 by Judge Vaughn Walker that Proposition 8 violated the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. The decision was stayed shortly thereafter pending appeal, and now is in a lengthy review process by higher appellate courts. The case is expected to one day soon reach the United States Supreme Court, where it may or may not be granted review.
On December 18, 2010, the United States Senate voted 65 to 31 in favor of repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the Clinton-era policy that forbids openly gay men and women from serving in the military. Eight Republicans sided with the Democrats to strike down the ban. Repeal of the law did not actually take effect, though, until almost an entire year later, on September 20, 2011.
February 23, 2011 was the day that President Barack Obama announced that his administration would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act, the 1996 law banning federal recognition of same-sex marriages, in court.
Key Individuals
There have been numerous individuals who have had a profound impact on the Gay Rights Movement during the past decade or so. They are listed here not in order of influence or importance, but rather alphabetically.
Dustin Lance Black: American screenwriter, director, film and television producer, as well as long-time LGBT rights activist. Known for his work on the hit television show Big Love and the 2008 film Milk.
Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA): One of our fiercest and most senior allies in the Senate, Boxer repeatedly receives 100% scores from the HRC (Human Rights Campaign). She voted against the Defense of Marriage Act and has voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment each time it has come to a vote. She co-sponsored the Matthew Shepard Act and opposed Proposition 8 in California.
Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA): Along with then-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brown declined to appeal the ruling in 2010 that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.
Margaret Cho: highly influential Korean-American comedian, fashion designer, actress, author, and singer-songwriter who frequently speaks out in support of LGBT rights. Cho is easily one of our greatest advocates in the entertainment industry.
Dan Choi: former American infantry officer in the United States Army who served in combat in the Iraq war during 2006-2007 who came out on The Rachel Maddow Show in March 2009 and became an LGBT activist, publicly challenging the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. After being dishonorably discharged, Choi later reapplied to the Army (post DADT).
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: Clinton has a long history of supporting equal rights for LGBT individuals (stopping short of publicly endorsing full marriage equality). Recently she delivered a landmark, unprecedented speech before the United Nations Human Rights Council in her official capacity as the United States Secretary of State on the topic of gay rights worldwide. The main thrust of her approximately hour-long speech: "gay rights are human rights."
Ellen DeGeneres: American stand-up comedian, television host and actor. DeGeneres does not speak out on LGBT issues often, but is a very prominent out celebrity and does have a very supportive mother who is active in the community and she donated a significant amount of money to the anti-Prop 8 campaign.
Representative Barney Frank (D-MA): One of the few out politicians on the federal level, Frank has been arguably the most visible gay Congressmen and has publicly supported many LGBT issues.
Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (better known as Lady Gaga): American singer/songwriter known for her vocal support of LGBT rights issues.
Neil Patrick Harris: American singer, actor, director. Known for being openly gay and in a relationship (with kids!).
Late Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA): Was one of the biggest advocates of LGBT rights in the Senate prior to his death in 2009. He received multiple 100% scores from the HRC. He was an outspoken supporter of same-sex marriage recognition throughout the United States.
Jane Lynch: an American comedian, actor and singer, Lynch is perhaps best known for her current role as Sue Sylvester in the hit Fox television show Glee. Though she is not particularly vocal about LGBT issues, Lynch is a prominent openly gay actor.
Sir Ian McKellen: English actor known best for his roles as Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Sir Leigh Teabing in The DaVinci Code, and Magneto in the X-Men films. McKellen has been out since 1988 and has been an extremely vocal and active member of the LGBT rights movement.
Rosie O'Donnell: American stand-up comedian, actor, author and television personality. O'Donnell is also very active and outspoken in the LGBT rights arena.
President Barack Obama: Obama supports just about all equal rights for LGBT Americans and has come out publicly in support of such measures, short of endorsing full marriage equality. He supports civil unions for all American same-sex couples, has called for the repeal of DOMA, supports and signed into law legislation protecting LGBT Americans from discrimination and hate crimes, supported and signed into law the repeal of DADT, and acknowledges that his position on gay rights "continues to evolve."
Keith Olbermann: American political commentator and writer. Olbermann is best known, in my mind, for not only his savagely liberal political positions, but also his impassioned plea for respect and equal rights for same-sex couples in the days after the passing of Proposition 8 in California. Even if you have already watched the video, watch it again. It makes me cry every time.
Dan Savage: American author, media pundit, journalist and newspaper editor, perhaps best known today for his creation of the It Gets Better Project.
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA): Publicly supported gay rights as Governor of California, along with then-Attorney General Jerry Brown, declined to appeal the overturning of Proposition 8 by a federal judge.
Judy Shepard: Mother of Matthew Shepard, 21 year-old college student who was violently beaten and murdered in October 1998 near Laramie, Wyoming. Since her son's death, Shepard has been an outspoken proponent of gay rights and co-founded the Matthew Shepard Foundation with her husband.
George Takei: American actor best known for his role as Hikaru Sulu in Star Trek. Takei has been an outspoken proponent of LGBT rights since his coming out in 2008.
Vaughn Walker: Retired district judge of the United States District Court for the Northern District of California (1989 to 2011) known for his decision to overturn California's Proposition 8 in Perry v. Schwarzenegger, a federal case in 2010 challenging the constitutionality of the same-sex ban. Walker gained a certain amount of criticism and notoriety following his ruling when it was revealed he has been in a long-term relationship with another man.
Important Moments
Other than key events that can clearly be identified as successes or failures of the Gay Rights Movement, there have also been other moments during the past decade or so that were simply important and help shape and define the progress of the movement.
The first such moment that comes to my mind occurred on September 21, 2010, when author/journalist/editor Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller announced the online It Gets Better Project. This project, which was originally based largely on YouTube videos created by celebrities and other people from all walks of life (and now has its own website), has a primary goal of preventing suicide among LGBT youth and combating the consequences of bullying of said youth. It is arguably the single largest response to violence and bullying against LGBT youth and has received a tremendous amount of mainstream media coverage in the (roughly) year and a half since its inception.
Another such moment (which was more of an event) that had significance for our movement, and that I can say I actually personally attended, was the National Equality March in Washington, D.C. that occurred on October 11, 2009. The march went past the White House and up Pennsylvania Ave to the Capitol, and called for equality (in a variety of forms) on a federal level for LGBT Americans. Famous speakers at the march included Dustin Lance Black and Lady Gaga. The event drew an estimated 200,000 protesters/marchers.
Another event I personally attended occurred on November 15, 2008, in Salt Lake City, UT as well as numerous other cities throughout the United States. Thousands (in Utah, approximately 2,000) gathered to protest the passage of Proposition 8 in California as well as to protest secret and potentially illicit donations to the pro-Prop 8 camp by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Protesters in Salt Lake City marched around temple square at dusk, causing traffic disruptions and loudly chanting pro-gay rights slogans.
As an example of a sort of city-wide civil disobedience, on February 12, 2004, city officials in San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Over 80 couples were married before the practice was stopped. A similar uprising occurred on February 20, 2004 in Sandoval County, New Mexico, where the county clerk began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, citing lack of legal grounds for denial.
On November 25, 2011, Australian grassroots advocacy group Get Up! released a marriage equality video titled "It's Time." The video follows a couple through their initial meeting, romance, and eventual proposal by one to the other of marriage, revealing at the end that they are a same-sex male couple. The video has millions of hits on YouTube and can be viewed here.
That's about all I have for now. Suggestions are welcome to make this summary more complete. :-)
Goals
In this section I will attempt to define what I consider to be the primary goals of the modern gay rights movement. I will also attempt to list them hierarchically in order of importance.
The number one goal of the worldwide gay rights movement, as I see it, is to end violence against LGBT individuals on the basis of sexual orientation and/or gender identity. This violence is defined as bodily harm inflicted intentionally against anyone whose sexual orientation or gender identity is other than what is perceived to be normative for his/her culture and society. This violence may or may not result in the intentional or unintentional death of the victim. Violence may also include the wrongful imprisonment or detention of individuals because they identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. Until all individuals in this world are safe being who they were born to be, all other goals in this movement MUST be secondary.
I think a reasonable second goal of this movement is to end bullying against LGBT youth and reform education to cultivate acceptance and understanding of LGBT individuals and issues. It is a cliche, but youth really are our future. As a society we should be asking ourselves what kind of example we want to be setting for our children. Do we want to be the kind of society that continues to turn a blind eye to the maltreatment and suffering of an oppressed minority group, particularly when minors are some of the most significantly affected? Or do we want to be the kind of society that stands up to and denounces bullying against youth minorities? The practices we put into place in our educational institutions color the perceptions of individuals throughout their lifetimes. It is time public education in this country includes comprehensive education about sexual orientation and gender identity, as well as LGBT history. There also must be support infrastructure in place for LGBT youth who are bullied and discriminated against.
Along these same lines, a close third goal should be to address the growing epidemic of homelessness among LGBT youth. Teenagers who come out to their families are still routinely kicked out of their homes. They live on the street, become drifters, end up in homeless shelters or foster care, suffer from malnutrition, disease, and lack of proper hygiene and medical care. They are much more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol than other youth their same age. Their mortality rate is higher. It is an unacceptable reality that we must come up with solutions to immediately. The types of facilities and programs we need are, for example, gay-friendly youth shelters or gay-friendly family placement programs for displaced LGBT youth.
An important fourth goal of this movement should be to end discrimination in employment and housing against LGBT individuals. Many jurisdictions are already adopting or pursuing these policies, but they still have a long way to go. Losing one's job or home simply on the basis of one's sexual orientation or gender identity is an unacceptable reality. Business policies against such discrimination are an important part of any reputable company's protocol, however, they are, in and of themselves, insufficient. As a minority group, LGBT individuals should be legally protected against such discrimination.
Goal number five, in my mind, addresses financial inequities between opposite-sex and same-sex couples. Therefore, our fifth goal should be to equalize government recognition of opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. In short, either same-sex marriage should be legalized or marriage itself as a government-recognized institution should be abandoned for all couples and replaced with civil unions (or something similar). This would solve issues ranging from access to insurance and Social Security benefits for committed same-sex couples to recognition of the right of a surviving same-sex spouse to inherit her/his deceased partner's estate.
On a personal note, equal recognition of same-sex relationships is important to me on a much more personal level, as it acknowledges the validity and importance of those relationships in our lives. Such recognition affirms the dignity and equality of same-sex couples who enter into these relationships, which to me is just as important as the material benefits equal recognition would bring.
Along the lines of goal number five, a reasonable sixth goal should be to ensure same-sex couples have equal access to the institutions of adoption and foster care, and to ensure they have full legal discretion in making medical and life/death decisions for an ill partner who cannot make his/her own decisions. While these rights are typically included under the umbrella of "marriage," I felt compelled to list them separate from the financial benefits listed above.
As a more political goal, number seven would be to use the political influence of the United States government and other institutions, such as the United Nations, to sanction or otherwise put diplomatic pressure on nations that still criminalize homosexuality and same-sex unions, particularly those that practice or condone violence against or imprisonment of LGBT individuals. Again, this is a process that, thanks to the Obama administration, is well underway, but has a long way to go. Violence against LGBT individuals would also include imposing the death penalty for homosexual acts or expressions of LGBT identity. This goal should also include pressuring nations that attempt to stifle freedom of expression when it comes to LGBT issues.
An eighth and final goal, stated broadly, might be to cultivate the development of a society and culture that is both educated about and sensitive to the diverse nature of human sexuality and gender expression. Too long has our society tried to understand sexuality and gender identity in terms of ultimately self-defeating binaries. These socially constructed norms fall far short of explaining the diverse gamut of human sexuality, and we are far overdue for a huge leap forward in our understanding of these issues. Such a societal evolution in thought would benefit everyone considered.
Recent Successes and Failures
When I think of the first watershed success of the Gay Rights Movement in the last decade, my mind goes straight to the November 18, 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Court decision in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, which found that the state [of Massachusetts] may not "deny the protections, benefits and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry." The next year, on May 17, same-sex couples began marrying in the state.
Now I know I put marriage equality rather low on the priority list of the goals of this movement, and I stand by that decision. But let's face it: the gay issue that routinely gets the lion's share of media coverage and hype is same-sex marriage. It is a sad reality, but the truth is that this issue, more than any other, is the most divisive, political, and those in our community who have money and influence seem to care about it more than other arguably more important issues. Therefore, the first state to rule in a judicial decision that gay couples should be allowed to wed was huge news. And it started what I argue is an unprecedented, almost continuous media coverage of an issue that had largely been ignored at worst and hit-or-miss at best prior to this watershed moment.
Going chronologically backwards slightly, on June 26, 2003, in Lawrence v. Texas, the United States Supreme Court ruled that laws against sodomy in the United States are unconstitutional. This decision struck down sodomy laws that were still on the books in 14 different states (including Utah). This was really the first decision by the land's highest court affirming the right of same-sex adults to consent to sexual activity in private. It also set a new legal precedent for affirming other rights of LGBT individuals, which other courts would draw on for years to come (and continue to do so).
As of today, 19 states have amended their constitutions to explicitly ban any type of legally-recognized unions between same-sex couples. A further 10 states have amended their constitutions to ban same-sex marriage specifically. 11 other states have statutes banning same-sex marriage. Many of these changes have occurred within the past 10 years. States that used to ban same-sex unions only by statute have enshrined that discrimination within their land's highest law, the state constitution, where it can only be overturned by a further constitutional amendment, a United States Supreme Court decision, or a highly improbable United States constitutional amendment.
Conversely, six states and the District of Columbia recognize and perform same-sex marriage in full equality to opposite-sex marriage. A further nine states recognize and perform unions (such as civil unions or domestic partnerships) similar to marriage in the rights they confer. Another four states grant limited rights to same-sex couples. Virtually all of these changes granting rights to same-sex couples have occurred since the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Court decision in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, with a few exceptions in the New England area.
Of course, there is one case of a state banning same-sex marriage in particular that deserves special attention. On November 4, 2008, in a very close contest, California voters approved Proposition 8 by a margin of 52% to 47%, which explicitly limits marriage to opposite-sex couples in the state's constitution. No other publicly-decided same-sex marriage issue has ever received more media attention, criticism, and hype. This is in part due to allegations that the Yes on 8 campaign was funded largely by secret and perhaps illegitimate donations from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
On October 28, 2009, President Barack Obama signed into law the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, passed by Congress on October 22. The act expanded the 1969 United States federal hate-crime law to include crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability.
U.S. District Court Judge Joseph Tauro ruled on July 8, 2010, that Defense of Marriage Act violates the equal protection of the laws guaranteed by the Due Process Clause of the Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The decision has since been stayed pending appeal.
Despite the gobs of money the LDS Church and other entities threw at Prop 8, opponents of the proposition challenged the initiative in federal court, where it was ruled on August 4, 2010 by Judge Vaughn Walker that Proposition 8 violated the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. The decision was stayed shortly thereafter pending appeal, and now is in a lengthy review process by higher appellate courts. The case is expected to one day soon reach the United States Supreme Court, where it may or may not be granted review.
On December 18, 2010, the United States Senate voted 65 to 31 in favor of repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the Clinton-era policy that forbids openly gay men and women from serving in the military. Eight Republicans sided with the Democrats to strike down the ban. Repeal of the law did not actually take effect, though, until almost an entire year later, on September 20, 2011.
February 23, 2011 was the day that President Barack Obama announced that his administration would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act, the 1996 law banning federal recognition of same-sex marriages, in court.
Key Individuals
There have been numerous individuals who have had a profound impact on the Gay Rights Movement during the past decade or so. They are listed here not in order of influence or importance, but rather alphabetically.
Dustin Lance Black: American screenwriter, director, film and television producer, as well as long-time LGBT rights activist. Known for his work on the hit television show Big Love and the 2008 film Milk.
Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA): One of our fiercest and most senior allies in the Senate, Boxer repeatedly receives 100% scores from the HRC (Human Rights Campaign). She voted against the Defense of Marriage Act and has voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment each time it has come to a vote. She co-sponsored the Matthew Shepard Act and opposed Proposition 8 in California.
Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA): Along with then-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brown declined to appeal the ruling in 2010 that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.
Margaret Cho: highly influential Korean-American comedian, fashion designer, actress, author, and singer-songwriter who frequently speaks out in support of LGBT rights. Cho is easily one of our greatest advocates in the entertainment industry.
Dan Choi: former American infantry officer in the United States Army who served in combat in the Iraq war during 2006-2007 who came out on The Rachel Maddow Show in March 2009 and became an LGBT activist, publicly challenging the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. After being dishonorably discharged, Choi later reapplied to the Army (post DADT).
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: Clinton has a long history of supporting equal rights for LGBT individuals (stopping short of publicly endorsing full marriage equality). Recently she delivered a landmark, unprecedented speech before the United Nations Human Rights Council in her official capacity as the United States Secretary of State on the topic of gay rights worldwide. The main thrust of her approximately hour-long speech: "gay rights are human rights."
Ellen DeGeneres: American stand-up comedian, television host and actor. DeGeneres does not speak out on LGBT issues often, but is a very prominent out celebrity and does have a very supportive mother who is active in the community and she donated a significant amount of money to the anti-Prop 8 campaign.
Representative Barney Frank (D-MA): One of the few out politicians on the federal level, Frank has been arguably the most visible gay Congressmen and has publicly supported many LGBT issues.
Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (better known as Lady Gaga): American singer/songwriter known for her vocal support of LGBT rights issues.
Neil Patrick Harris: American singer, actor, director. Known for being openly gay and in a relationship (with kids!).
Late Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA): Was one of the biggest advocates of LGBT rights in the Senate prior to his death in 2009. He received multiple 100% scores from the HRC. He was an outspoken supporter of same-sex marriage recognition throughout the United States.
Jane Lynch: an American comedian, actor and singer, Lynch is perhaps best known for her current role as Sue Sylvester in the hit Fox television show Glee. Though she is not particularly vocal about LGBT issues, Lynch is a prominent openly gay actor.
Sir Ian McKellen: English actor known best for his roles as Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Sir Leigh Teabing in The DaVinci Code, and Magneto in the X-Men films. McKellen has been out since 1988 and has been an extremely vocal and active member of the LGBT rights movement.
Rosie O'Donnell: American stand-up comedian, actor, author and television personality. O'Donnell is also very active and outspoken in the LGBT rights arena.
President Barack Obama: Obama supports just about all equal rights for LGBT Americans and has come out publicly in support of such measures, short of endorsing full marriage equality. He supports civil unions for all American same-sex couples, has called for the repeal of DOMA, supports and signed into law legislation protecting LGBT Americans from discrimination and hate crimes, supported and signed into law the repeal of DADT, and acknowledges that his position on gay rights "continues to evolve."
Keith Olbermann: American political commentator and writer. Olbermann is best known, in my mind, for not only his savagely liberal political positions, but also his impassioned plea for respect and equal rights for same-sex couples in the days after the passing of Proposition 8 in California. Even if you have already watched the video, watch it again. It makes me cry every time.
Dan Savage: American author, media pundit, journalist and newspaper editor, perhaps best known today for his creation of the It Gets Better Project.
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA): Publicly supported gay rights as Governor of California, along with then-Attorney General Jerry Brown, declined to appeal the overturning of Proposition 8 by a federal judge.
Judy Shepard: Mother of Matthew Shepard, 21 year-old college student who was violently beaten and murdered in October 1998 near Laramie, Wyoming. Since her son's death, Shepard has been an outspoken proponent of gay rights and co-founded the Matthew Shepard Foundation with her husband.
George Takei: American actor best known for his role as Hikaru Sulu in Star Trek. Takei has been an outspoken proponent of LGBT rights since his coming out in 2008.
Vaughn Walker: Retired district judge of the United States District Court for the Northern District of California (1989 to 2011) known for his decision to overturn California's Proposition 8 in Perry v. Schwarzenegger, a federal case in 2010 challenging the constitutionality of the same-sex ban. Walker gained a certain amount of criticism and notoriety following his ruling when it was revealed he has been in a long-term relationship with another man.
Important Moments
Other than key events that can clearly be identified as successes or failures of the Gay Rights Movement, there have also been other moments during the past decade or so that were simply important and help shape and define the progress of the movement.
The first such moment that comes to my mind occurred on September 21, 2010, when author/journalist/editor Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller announced the online It Gets Better Project. This project, which was originally based largely on YouTube videos created by celebrities and other people from all walks of life (and now has its own website), has a primary goal of preventing suicide among LGBT youth and combating the consequences of bullying of said youth. It is arguably the single largest response to violence and bullying against LGBT youth and has received a tremendous amount of mainstream media coverage in the (roughly) year and a half since its inception.
Another such moment (which was more of an event) that had significance for our movement, and that I can say I actually personally attended, was the National Equality March in Washington, D.C. that occurred on October 11, 2009. The march went past the White House and up Pennsylvania Ave to the Capitol, and called for equality (in a variety of forms) on a federal level for LGBT Americans. Famous speakers at the march included Dustin Lance Black and Lady Gaga. The event drew an estimated 200,000 protesters/marchers.
Another event I personally attended occurred on November 15, 2008, in Salt Lake City, UT as well as numerous other cities throughout the United States. Thousands (in Utah, approximately 2,000) gathered to protest the passage of Proposition 8 in California as well as to protest secret and potentially illicit donations to the pro-Prop 8 camp by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Protesters in Salt Lake City marched around temple square at dusk, causing traffic disruptions and loudly chanting pro-gay rights slogans.
As an example of a sort of city-wide civil disobedience, on February 12, 2004, city officials in San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Over 80 couples were married before the practice was stopped. A similar uprising occurred on February 20, 2004 in Sandoval County, New Mexico, where the county clerk began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, citing lack of legal grounds for denial.
On November 25, 2011, Australian grassroots advocacy group Get Up! released a marriage equality video titled "It's Time." The video follows a couple through their initial meeting, romance, and eventual proposal by one to the other of marriage, revealing at the end that they are a same-sex male couple. The video has millions of hits on YouTube and can be viewed here.
That's about all I have for now. Suggestions are welcome to make this summary more complete. :-)
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Yeah, so here was today's baby e-mail...
You're halfway there. Hooray! The first trimester is over, the second is well under way, and you've probably got your energy back. Celebrate by splurging on a pedicure, a prenatal massage, or a new outfit that shows off your baby bump. Now's also the time to hang out with friends, go on a baby moon, and live it up before the baby arrives about 20 weeks from now.
This might sound really sad, but I am rather entertained whenever I receive one of these e-mails now...
Today has been a bit of a difficult day and I'm not really sure why. I have felt pretty tired the last couple of days (mostly I think because I have had a couple of late nights in a row), so I think that is mostly responsible. But I am starting to acknowledge that I still have a bit of lingering depression that creeps up on me occasionally. Sometimes I don't even notice it right away. But I suppose given my life at the moment, it is not very difficult to understand why this might be the case.
I find that keeping busy, staying physically active, and spending time with friends (and family) as much as possible helps keep me in a good mood and keep my depression in check. A reasonable amount of alcohol always helps, too... ;-)
I don't know about anyone else, but I am ready for some better weather. Winter can end early as far as I am concerned.
This might sound really sad, but I am rather entertained whenever I receive one of these e-mails now...
Today has been a bit of a difficult day and I'm not really sure why. I have felt pretty tired the last couple of days (mostly I think because I have had a couple of late nights in a row), so I think that is mostly responsible. But I am starting to acknowledge that I still have a bit of lingering depression that creeps up on me occasionally. Sometimes I don't even notice it right away. But I suppose given my life at the moment, it is not very difficult to understand why this might be the case.
I find that keeping busy, staying physically active, and spending time with friends (and family) as much as possible helps keep me in a good mood and keep my depression in check. A reasonable amount of alcohol always helps, too... ;-)
I don't know about anyone else, but I am ready for some better weather. Winter can end early as far as I am concerned.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Either I'm getting spammed or someone is playing a practical joke on me...
So yesterday I received a cryptic e-mail from something called the 'BabyCenter' that at first, I thought was just spam, but then I started reading it and it started to seem like more than a simple case of spamming. First of all, they knew my name, which you don't usually see in spam e-mails. Here's what the e-mail said:
Congratulations! You're 19 weeks pregnant.
Hello Sean,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Having a baby may be the most challenging thing you ever do – and the most amazing. And BabyCenter will be at your side every step of the way. We'll help you get answers to all your questions about your pregnancy and baby, with thousands of expert articles, helpful tools, and a warm, supportive community of parents like you.
So yesterday I really tried not to think much of this e-mail and more or less disregarded it. However, this morning I woke up to ANOTHER e-mail. It reads...
Hello, Sean!
You're at the halfway mark — congratulations! Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (The way your baby is measured changes now.) He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (although some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).
First of all, ew... Second of all, why in the world do these people at the BabyCenter, whoever they are, think that I am pregnant?!? Now stop me if I'm wrong, but I paid pretty close attention in Biology class and I'm fairly certain that me becoming pregnant, no matter how hard I try, is pretty much impossible.
All of this deduction has led me to the inescapable conclusion that someone who has access to my name and e-mail address is playing a trick on me... As soon as this blog entry is complete I will be posting a link to it on Facebook, so whoever you are (as I am assuming you are my friend on FB), I'm on to you...
Now I just can't wait to see what tomorrow's BabyCenter e-mail will say... I hope they send me resource information soon on how to seek an abortion, because I just cannot afford to have a baby right now! I don't want to be like all those poor, struggling single working mothers out there!
Congratulations! You're 19 weeks pregnant.
Hello Sean,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Having a baby may be the most challenging thing you ever do – and the most amazing. And BabyCenter will be at your side every step of the way. We'll help you get answers to all your questions about your pregnancy and baby, with thousands of expert articles, helpful tools, and a warm, supportive community of parents like you.
So yesterday I really tried not to think much of this e-mail and more or less disregarded it. However, this morning I woke up to ANOTHER e-mail. It reads...
Hello, Sean!
You're at the halfway mark — congratulations! Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (The way your baby is measured changes now.) He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (although some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).
First of all, ew... Second of all, why in the world do these people at the BabyCenter, whoever they are, think that I am pregnant?!? Now stop me if I'm wrong, but I paid pretty close attention in Biology class and I'm fairly certain that me becoming pregnant, no matter how hard I try, is pretty much impossible.
All of this deduction has led me to the inescapable conclusion that someone who has access to my name and e-mail address is playing a trick on me... As soon as this blog entry is complete I will be posting a link to it on Facebook, so whoever you are (as I am assuming you are my friend on FB), I'm on to you...
Now I just can't wait to see what tomorrow's BabyCenter e-mail will say... I hope they send me resource information soon on how to seek an abortion, because I just cannot afford to have a baby right now! I don't want to be like all those poor, struggling single working mothers out there!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I hate titles
My three-day weekend flew by me far too quickly. Friday was a frustrating day at work, and to make matters worse, I didn't leave the damned building until about 7:40. But I made up for it by drinking and hanging out with people far more drunk than I was. It was rather entertaining.
Saturday was spent with my family. We went to Hobby Lobby (where I was finally able to buy glitter pens! yay!), ate delicious Dunford donuts, and for some incomprehensible reason, watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture. I made the suggestion that, if we were going to watch all of the Star Trek movies like we just watched all of the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that we really ought to skip the first one and go straight to Ricardo Montalban's shiny pecs and nipples (Wrath of Khan). But instead, amazingly without any alcohol or other substance that would have made it more bearable, we watched the entire first Star Trek movie. I don't recommend it...
The first half of Sunday was spent cleaning my room, doing laundry and exercising. The second half was much more fun. I went on a pretty fun date with an incredible guy that I have been seeing. We went to the auto show in Sandy and then went out to dinner at Bambara, which I discovered is undoubtedly the gayest restaurant in Salt Lake City. They also had delicious food. We ended the night by hanging out at his house watching TV and relaxing. It was a lot of fun and I hope we do more stuff like that in the near future. :-)
Yesterday I took the day off work but, due to the snow, decided not the leave the house the entire day. It was a lazy day spent relaxing at home and watching TV. I did absolutely nothing productive. Toward the middle/end of the day I started to feel depressed, mostly because I didn't do anything physical all day, I think. I realized it was the first day in months that I had actually not left the house at all, not even to run a short errand or go jogging. It was kind of nice to have a day like that, but at the same time, I don't want to do that very often, because it depresses me.
Today I am happy to be back at work and back into my routine. I am looking forward to next weekend, when I once again have a three-day weekend. But this time I plan on actually doing something all three days I am off. :-)
Saturday was spent with my family. We went to Hobby Lobby (where I was finally able to buy glitter pens! yay!), ate delicious Dunford donuts, and for some incomprehensible reason, watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture. I made the suggestion that, if we were going to watch all of the Star Trek movies like we just watched all of the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that we really ought to skip the first one and go straight to Ricardo Montalban's shiny pecs and nipples (Wrath of Khan). But instead, amazingly without any alcohol or other substance that would have made it more bearable, we watched the entire first Star Trek movie. I don't recommend it...
The first half of Sunday was spent cleaning my room, doing laundry and exercising. The second half was much more fun. I went on a pretty fun date with an incredible guy that I have been seeing. We went to the auto show in Sandy and then went out to dinner at Bambara, which I discovered is undoubtedly the gayest restaurant in Salt Lake City. They also had delicious food. We ended the night by hanging out at his house watching TV and relaxing. It was a lot of fun and I hope we do more stuff like that in the near future. :-)
Yesterday I took the day off work but, due to the snow, decided not the leave the house the entire day. It was a lazy day spent relaxing at home and watching TV. I did absolutely nothing productive. Toward the middle/end of the day I started to feel depressed, mostly because I didn't do anything physical all day, I think. I realized it was the first day in months that I had actually not left the house at all, not even to run a short errand or go jogging. It was kind of nice to have a day like that, but at the same time, I don't want to do that very often, because it depresses me.
Today I am happy to be back at work and back into my routine. I am looking forward to next weekend, when I once again have a three-day weekend. But this time I plan on actually doing something all three days I am off. :-)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
My first 2012 list of things that must go...
1. People who think the world is going to end this year. Believe me, people, I would be the first person to be THRILLED if this were true, but the truth is, the Mayans just ran out of flat stones to chisel their cute little calendars into, so they stopped at the end of 2012. Lucky for us, there are still plenty of calendar makers creating tons of 2013 calendars with delicious, mostly nude men on them for us to enjoy all year long.
2. Liquor stores in Utah closing early on the eve of major holidays. I already have enough reasons to hate Utah, and they've just added one more. The liquor stores all closed at 7:00 PM on New Year's Eve. 7:00!!! I haven't gone to the liquor store that early since before I was legal! Seriously, who goes out for liquor that early?!? Just sell wine and (real) beer in the grocery stores, Utah, and stop closing the liquor stores at 7:00 on ANY NIGHT and I promise, I will leave you alone.
3. My shoulder aching all day. 'Nuff said.
4. People who don't read terms and conditions and then bitch when they don't get their way. "I didn't understand the difference between nights and stays and therefore didn't stay enough to get upgraded to Gold status, and now I think it's [hotel company's] fault and I want you to upgrade me now! I don't have time to read terms and conditions, even though they are only a couple of paragraphs long! What do you think I am, some kind of lawyer?!?"
5. Rick Santorum, but not before he makes a complete ass out of himself in the GOP primary race. Oh wait, too late... For that matter, all of the GOP candidates except for Jon Huntsman (because he's the only sane one) and Ron Paul (because he's just so old, adorable, and weird, and because he spends Saturday nights reading economic textbooks).
6. Mitt Romney. Yes, I know I already said all the GOP Presidential candidates, but I truly feel that Mitt Romney deserves his own special mention, just like he deserves his own special layer of HELL! I have never known a more miserably rich, out-of-touch, socially conservative bozo of a politician. God forbid he becomes President... I hate to say it, but Obama may be our best and only hope...
7. Pens that look like they should be colorful glitter pens but aren't. That's just annoying. I still want colorful glitter pens.
2. Liquor stores in Utah closing early on the eve of major holidays. I already have enough reasons to hate Utah, and they've just added one more. The liquor stores all closed at 7:00 PM on New Year's Eve. 7:00!!! I haven't gone to the liquor store that early since before I was legal! Seriously, who goes out for liquor that early?!? Just sell wine and (real) beer in the grocery stores, Utah, and stop closing the liquor stores at 7:00 on ANY NIGHT and I promise, I will leave you alone.
3. My shoulder aching all day. 'Nuff said.
4. People who don't read terms and conditions and then bitch when they don't get their way. "I didn't understand the difference between nights and stays and therefore didn't stay enough to get upgraded to Gold status, and now I think it's [hotel company's] fault and I want you to upgrade me now! I don't have time to read terms and conditions, even though they are only a couple of paragraphs long! What do you think I am, some kind of lawyer?!?"
5. Rick Santorum, but not before he makes a complete ass out of himself in the GOP primary race. Oh wait, too late... For that matter, all of the GOP candidates except for Jon Huntsman (because he's the only sane one) and Ron Paul (because he's just so old, adorable, and weird, and because he spends Saturday nights reading economic textbooks).
6. Mitt Romney. Yes, I know I already said all the GOP Presidential candidates, but I truly feel that Mitt Romney deserves his own special mention, just like he deserves his own special layer of HELL! I have never known a more miserably rich, out-of-touch, socially conservative bozo of a politician. God forbid he becomes President... I hate to say it, but Obama may be our best and only hope...
7. Pens that look like they should be colorful glitter pens but aren't. That's just annoying. I still want colorful glitter pens.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Think I'm finally ready to talk
I'm in a prose mood today.
My primary New Year's resolution was to be more honest about my feelings, with myself and everyone else (as appropriate). I think I have finally healed to a point where I can talk about my feelings without it really bothering me.
Over the past three months, I have experienced more emotional pain and growth than I have during any similar period of time in my life. I have learned to recognize how strong I can be, as well as my weaknessnes. The life experience I have gained by ending a long term relationship is something I now hold priceless. Everything considered, I have no regrets.
My life led me down the path I have walked, and I firmly believe everything that I have experienced has happened for a reason. I am so much more grown up now than I was, more independent, and I feel more alive than I have in a long time.
While I don't yet completely understand the overall picture of my former relationship, or why it ended the way it did, I do understand now that I really was far too young to get so seriously involved with someone when I did. It is the curse of being as ambitious as I am. It is also something I know I will struggle with in the future.
At the moment I am struggling to breathe and not do anything too quickly. Right now I really just want to have fun and experience life. While I definitely do want another relationship at some point (and let's face it, knowing myself as I do, it will probably happen sooner than I think), I have no immediate plans to develop one.
One of the biggest (and hardest) lessons I have learned from this experience is that there is nothing more important than being able to forgive oneself and others. Right now I am trying very hard to allow myself to be forgiven. As far as others, that might take a while longer. But I am trying my best now to develop a sense of self respect that I has been missing from my life for a long time, and I have to say that I am making some good progress.
Right now my future looks so bright and hopeful and I am very excited to see where life will take me next.
Oh, and by the way, my weekend was amazing. I live for my weekends. :)
My primary New Year's resolution was to be more honest about my feelings, with myself and everyone else (as appropriate). I think I have finally healed to a point where I can talk about my feelings without it really bothering me.
Over the past three months, I have experienced more emotional pain and growth than I have during any similar period of time in my life. I have learned to recognize how strong I can be, as well as my weaknessnes. The life experience I have gained by ending a long term relationship is something I now hold priceless. Everything considered, I have no regrets.
My life led me down the path I have walked, and I firmly believe everything that I have experienced has happened for a reason. I am so much more grown up now than I was, more independent, and I feel more alive than I have in a long time.
While I don't yet completely understand the overall picture of my former relationship, or why it ended the way it did, I do understand now that I really was far too young to get so seriously involved with someone when I did. It is the curse of being as ambitious as I am. It is also something I know I will struggle with in the future.
At the moment I am struggling to breathe and not do anything too quickly. Right now I really just want to have fun and experience life. While I definitely do want another relationship at some point (and let's face it, knowing myself as I do, it will probably happen sooner than I think), I have no immediate plans to develop one.
One of the biggest (and hardest) lessons I have learned from this experience is that there is nothing more important than being able to forgive oneself and others. Right now I am trying very hard to allow myself to be forgiven. As far as others, that might take a while longer. But I am trying my best now to develop a sense of self respect that I has been missing from my life for a long time, and I have to say that I am making some good progress.
Right now my future looks so bright and hopeful and I am very excited to see where life will take me next.
Oh, and by the way, my weekend was amazing. I live for my weekends. :)
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